Not like my good friend Mr Spookintons (of the Snyed Park Spookingtons - a very noble family indeed) - who was the Grand Poopweet of this honourable society, after the mantle was passed from the previous Grand Poopweet, the honourable K. Keebly KCBE.
Being Grand Poopweet has many important duties, the greatest of these being the organising and catering of a giant beano for the other members of the society, within a period of six months of the previous meeting. The great feast is in the form of a competition and the winner becomes the Grand Poopweet, is handed the official trophy of office and takes the honour of hosting the next bi-annual assembly.
Today it was the appointed hour and my goodly chum put in an excellent effort. The general theme was Spanish (he had just returned from holidaying in Spain as do all the Spookingtons at this time of year) and was a fine example of a giant load of Spanish nosh, all washed down with some excellent wine, beer, port, brandy and Cuban cigars (Romeo and Julietta number 2). I think the peppers stuffed with cod were my favourite dish of the day, quite superb.
After dinner, as is the custom, the trophy was passed to the greatest tencherman and lordy lawks, I was given the honour. How proud I am, how honoured, how humbled.
So please, should you meet me at the opera or at my club, remember that I am now a man of standing, a man of position, a player, a dude - I expect some respect.
I don't know if you'll get to hear about the next event and what I concoct for the other society members, as my blog will have long finished by then, but I'm sorry, you can't come along as well, as I explained earlier, you are just not 'our sort' at all.
Chocolate and Red Wine Mousse: I would never have thought of using red wine in a mousse but it was actually quite good.