Please, Don't Take Your Pants Off Jesus, I'm Begging You

Monday 3/10/2005


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Diary and Notes

Art class again today, and this time it's life drawing. We've even got a model to sit for us - poor thing.

The class I belong to has a lot of students and not a great deal of space, as such, we all had to sit around the model and he was in the middle. This meant everyone got a different angle on him and when the works were finished gave an excellent 360o view of the person.

There were one or two problems however:

Firstly the model himself. Although probably an excellent subject for drawing in that he had quite a lot of tone and shape, and was excellent at sitting still while we all joked and larked about, he had a beard, curly hair and moustache that looked as though he had styled himself on medieval paintings of Jesus. It was a striking similarity and no matter how hard people tried not to draw him as Jesus he still ended up with a saintly glow. One person even drew a halo around his head - another person took an unusual twist and blacked his eyes out and made him look like some evil horror film anti-Jesus - very artistic.

But it wasn't that he looked like Jesus that gave me the biggest problem, it was the position he took and the position I was seated in that was the biggest cause for concern.

I was at the feet end when he was lying down and his pose was one of the wide splayed leg types. If it weren't for him having a pair of boxer shorts on I think the close up of his undercarriage would have given me a turn. I'm not a squeemish or prudish chap normally, but staring straight at another man's todger for three hours just isn't my thing, especially not at that range - he might have poked one of my eyes out.

After an excellent evening's drawing and skecthing I caught the bus home and rustled up something very quick and tasty. The photo doesn't look great as some of the egg became discoloured due to me mixing it in too quick (I was in a hurry) but it was still a mighty fine dinner indeed.

Cake Blog

Chocolate Crunch Cake: From a deli in London while I was waiting around for a train. Really quite excellent, very dark chocolate (even though it said it was milk chocolate). Soft, moist and sweet - just like me after watching a good weepy.


  • Thai Style Prawn Omelette
  • Basmati Rice
  • Cock Sauce (I wont go into this again)


    Thai Style Prawn Omelette
    1 Shallot
    1 Clove Garlic
    ½cm Ginger
    1 Tbsp Peanut Oil
    200g Frozen Tiger Prawns
    1 Green Pepper
    1 Carrot
    2 Green Chillis
    50g Peas
    ½ tsp Hot Chilli Powder
    ½ tsp White Pepper
    ½ tsp Galangal Powder
    ½ tsp Lemon Grass Powder
    1 tsp Soy Sauce
    1 Tbsp Oyster Sauce
    3 Eggs
    1 tsp Sesame Oil
    10 Thai Basil Leaves


  • Finely slice the shallot, ginger, chilli and galic. Fry in a little peanut oil until soft. Add the sliced carrot and fry a little more. Add the dry spices and the prawns and keep stir frying, next add the pepper and peas. When the peas are cooked add the liquid flavourings and mix well. Move the contents away from the centre of the wok and crack in the eggs. Scramble the eggs, trying to keep them away from the rest of the ingredients until cooked , then mix everything together. Stir in some basil leaves and sesame oil and serve.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for two people