I'm Just Glad I Didn't Choose the Barfin' Bucket

Tuesday 11/1/2005

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Diary and Notes

Day two of my fast food adventure and I decided to eat a Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner as the shop was close to where I was staying and I used to love KFC when I was a wee ankle biter.

Before I go into any depth about the food I must firstly point out that since starting my blog over two months ago, this was quite positively the worse thing I've eaten. It was far more disgusting than the 1/2 metre currywurst, made the Mexican all you can eat fiesta seem like a meal prepared by the djinn for Aladdin and the fish and chips would earn Michelin stars if the reviewer had to compare it to this.

What was it about KFC I used to love so much? Have I become such a snob, have my tastes changed that much?

The 'restaurant' was dreary and depressing, more like a bus stop cafe, near to closing time, in a very poor part of the country, in a country where the people are really depressed, on the seventh circle of hell, when it's raining. The only other customers during my time there were two Exeter University rugby player types having a very loud discussion about milk, a businessman (he was wearing a suit and asked for a receipt) who looked really bored with his lot and a constant stream of chinese students ordering bargain buckets and leaving to eat their stash at home.

As an aside: I shared a flat with some chinese students last year and for some reason, even though they were all pretty decent cooks themselves, they loved KFC. It was the only western food they ever ate. One of them even had a part time job there. I used to tease them and try to get them to join me for a curry or some Italian food but they never came, their only love was KFC and watching repeats of Friends on video. Life is a sad business.

So the place itself was dreary, but what about the food?

I chose one of the two piece chicken meals and had an extra mini fillet burger to add some extra choice. When asked what 'side' I wanted with my meal; coleslaw, beans or gravy, it should be obvious to any regular reader that gravy was for me. Especially as I remember it being delicious. Only it wasn't delicious, not delicious at all. It tasted almost exactly like chip shop curry sauce without the curry flavour (and chip shop curry sauce doesn't have much flavour to start with). It was bland and didn't seem to go with the meal at all. Also, apart from dipping the chips in it, there was no way to eat it, how do you eat gravy without a spoon or fork? Some chip shop curry sauce would have been much nicer. The chicken was really greasy and the fillet burger should not be eaten by anyone, irrespective of how hungry they are. Even the chips seemed tasteless.

Overall it was a really crap meal. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give the colonel a kick in the balls.

On a lighter note, I have found somewhere to live now, so my fast food adventure is over after only two days. Thank the lord for that.

Cake Blog

A piece of blackcurrant cheesecake from Sainsbury's. I miss my baumkuchen.


  • Colonels Secret Recipe Chicken
  • Mini Fillet Burger
  • Chips
  • Gravy

    My friend Carrie sent this from San Diego

    Well I was reading through your nosh blog. Sorry (but not surprised) that KFC sucked ass, it has for some years. I think when the Colonel kicked the bucket something happened to the secret recipe. Maybe he just sold out.