Drunken Chef Style Kung Food

Thursday 13/11/2005

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Diary and Notes

Today's article probably wont be one of my best. While I'm writing it, I have a bit of a hangover. All will be explained below:

There is a joke about mathematicians that goes like this:

What is the definition of an extrovert mathematician?

He's the one looking at the other person's shoes.

Ok, so it's not the funniest joke in the world, but does emphasise the widely held opinion that people who do maths aren't generally very good at interpersonal skills. Whether this is actually true, I have no idea. It may be just a stereotype, however there is definitely an air of weirdness that pervades maths departments all over the world. In order to remedy these defects, every Thursday, the bods from Exeter University Maths Department go out and have a few drinks together. We try desperately to look and act like normal people for a few hours, though after a beer or two, the conversation often deviates into the surreal and we are found out for who we really are (the leather patches on our corduroy jackets and the plasters holding our NHS specs together should also be an indicator to the layman that we are not your everyday chaps).

Yesterday (I'm writing this on the Friday) we met for quite a few beers and had a raging debate as to whether the pork pie was superior to the Cornish pasty. I of course favoured the pork pie, but most of the people here are from either Cornwall or Devon and as such have no knowledge of anything whatsoever and got the answer wrong.

So what's this all leading to you say.

Too many beers I reply. Especially as I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

By the time I got home at about 11.00 o'clock I was ravenously hungry and barely able to stand through inebriation. For most people this would have meant a trip to the chip shop or a kebab on the way home, but not for me, no, for I have been trained in the famous art of drunken chef style kung food.

When it comes to making something tasty to eat when completely pissed, I am the master. I am the Bruce Lee of 'rustling something up'. No matter how drunk I am, as long as I am able to stand, I can put together a fairly decent meal in minutes. I prepare for these occasions, always making sure that I have some ingredients in for such emergencies. I'm sure that as my Nosh-Blog progresses some of my other favourite drunken kung food will be revealed to you, but today's is a classic. It's tasty, filling and as long as you are able to avoid chopping your hands off whilst wielding a knife under the influence, it should prove no problem at all.

A bit of left over chicken and some fresh coriander would have been a good addition to the meal, but I didn't have any so made do without. I think the whole shebang took about 15 minutes to make and far less to devour. Afterwards, I slept like an overfed wolf.

Cake Blog

Jaffa Cakes: You can't go wrong with McVities Jaffa Cakes with a cup of coffee. But are they a cake or a biscuit? Who cares? They taste damn fine.


  • Singapore Style Fried Noodles


  • Peanut Oil, Onion, Pork, Egg Noodles, Green Pepper, Garlic, Ginger, Fresh Chilli, Prawns, Curry Powder (see below), Thai Fish Sauce, Spring Onions, Toasted Sesame Oil, Frozen Peas.


  • Put the noodles in boiling water. Fry the chopped onion in a little peanut oil, add the chopped pork, garlic, ginger and chilli. Stir fry a moment or two to brown the pork. Add some chopped pepper, frozen peas, a handful of prawns, some curry powder, a dash of fish sauce. Fry some more. Drain the noodles and add to the pan, mix. Shower liberally with chopped spring onions and drizzle on a little sesame oil.

    Curry Powder

    I feel the need to say a word or two about curry powder. Most people I know who can cook a bit, look down their noses in scorn at any mention of such a thing. They would recommend mixing your own spice mixes etc... However, having a good all purpose curry powder in your cupboard is a useful thing. Some curry powders are awful, being little more than some coriander and turmeric. My favourite of all is Bolsts mild curry powder. Don't be confused by the word mild, it is definitely not. Bolsts hot curry powder is downright evil and should be approached with caution. I'm not sure why Bolsts is so good, the ingredients are the same as for most other curry powders, but it is just fantastic. If I were stranded on a desert island and had only three flavourings to take with me, this would be one of them. You can't normally buy it in supermarkets, but all good asian grocers will have it.

    There's a pretty good website about
    Curry Powder which reviews some of the curry powders you can get in America. They rate Ship Brand Green Label Madras Curry Powder as the best. I've never seen this, nor tried it, but they give Bolsts a good rating too. If anyone has some Ship brand and wants to post me some to have a go with, I'd be very grateful.