He Is The Messiah

Monday 2/5/2005

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Diary and Notes

I was scouring my cookery books for an interesting idea for dinner and found a recipe in a Jewish cookbook for chicken and split pea koresh (koresh, or more correctly koresht is the Persian word for stew). I thought about making this, but decided against it as I'd just been shopping and bought a shoulder of lamb and that was what I was going to have. So, once again I decided to ignore the recipe completely and make something using that as a general idea. Lamb and chick pea koresh, a bastard dish of Iranian origin, cooked by an Englishman and the idea from a Jewish cookbook - ﻩﺩﺎﻌﻠﺍ ﻕﺭﺎﺨ ‘ﻰﻠﺎﻴﺨ

Note - if you can't read the above script you need to enable your web brouser to read non Latin characters. Go to the top menu and click on view, scroll down to character encoding and click UNICODE (if it's there, otherwise try something like Arabic or whatever your browser has). It should then enable the graphics to read all manner of weird and wonderful scripts - aren't I just full of useful tips.

And the words above should say 'fantastic' in Persian.

So deciding on lamb koresh for dinner I typed these words into Google and what did I get? Enlightening descriptions telling me that David Koresh was the lamb of God and I should join his amazing movement today. For those who don't remember (or care) David Koresh was the leader of a religious movement in America who foresaw the end of the world and said that those who did not follow him would be destroyed by God. Admittedly some of these sites were a little old - the FBI, no doubt commanded by the devil, condemned all mankind to an eternity of suffering by sending him to heaven before his essential work was complete. I did gain a fascinating insight into how our saviour David Koresh IS the messiah and how we are all going to suffer some horrid fate now that he isn't around to receive the gift of the seven seals from the hand of God. (I originally thought that Koresh's argument that God dispenses sea mammals as a thank you for suffering was a little strange, but he's the messiah, so who am I to judge). Don't take these things lightly, if you don't believe you wont get a seal and God will kill you - David Koresh said so and he's the man (or rather he isn't as he's the Christ).

I have decided to join the movement not so much for the salvation or being made safe from the wrath of the lord, I just want the seal. I think a seal would make a great pet and I could keep him in the bath and walk him on a lead and feed him fish. I think when my seal arrives (assuming that God hasn't given him a name already - on a tag around his neck I suppose), I shall call him Whiskers and we shall be best of buddies for ever and ever - until the end of the world.

I haven't yet decided whether I shall be one of the wave sheaf, wave shear or the wave loaf when the time comes. I have no idea what these are as the description seems a little confusing, but I imagine it's pretty important - perhaps Whisker's can explain to me what it's all about.

So join me and the branch Davidians. Not only are you protected from the wrath of the Lord, but there's a free seal for every member. Plus, I think you get to have lamb Koresh for dinner, and as it was really quite good, that must be a plus. I just hope that the distemper outbreak doesn't reoccur amongst the British seal population - that could really mess up our Lord's plans.

Now, where's that hoop and ball, Whiskers? It's time to rehearse for our circus act.

Cake Blog

Chocolate Chip Muffins: home made no less. They were a little less moist than I had hoped, left them in the oven a minute or two too long - still not bad, not bad at all.


  • Lamb Koresh
  • Rice
  • Pitta Bread
  • Greek Yoghurt with Ground Coriander and Lemon Juice


    Lamb Koresh

    300g Boned Lamb Shoulder
    1 Tbsp Olive Oil
    1 Onion
    2 Cloves Garlic
    1 Medium Aubergine
    1 Large Courgette
    1/2 Can Tomatoes
    1 Can Chick Peas (Rinsed)
    150ml Water
    1 tsp Turmeric
    1/4 tsp Nutmeg
    2 Cloves
    1/4 tsp Dried Mint
    10cm Stick Cinnamon
    Salt and Black Pepper
    1/2 Lemon
    Chocolate Chip Muffins (Makes 12)
    150g Self Raising Flour
    50g Cocoa powder
    50g Sugar
    3 Eggs
    200ml Milk
    50g Chocolate Chips
    1 tsp Baking Powder


  • Koresh: Roughly chop the onion and garlic and fry in the olive oil for about 1 minute. Add the chopped lamb and brown gently. Add the turmeric, cinnamon (broken into a few pieces), cloves and nutmeg. Fry for a minute or two then mix in all the other ingredients (roughly chopped), except the lemon. Place in a casserole dish, put the lid on and bake very slowly (140c) for about 4 hours. Serve with wedges of lemon to squirt over.
  • Muffins: Mix all the dry ingredients together then add the eggs and milk. Mix well. Pour into a muffin tin and bake for 15-20 minutes at 180c.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for two people