Honest Guv' 'E Just Ran Out and Hit the Bonnet of Me 4x4

Monday 6/6/2005

Back to noshblog site (click here)

Diary and Notes

Aah for the old traidional meats, the ones that the kings and queens of old used to chase around the countryside, shooting with arrows and poking with sharp sticks, whilst blowing on hunting horns and beating commoners into unconciousness for a laugh.

In days of old I'd have been hung for having a tasty venison steak for dinner - and it's all because of our traditional enemy, those devillishly mean Frenchies on the other side of the Channel. We shall never forget and it's not yet even time to forgive.

Yes it's all 1066 and the dreaded Normans. We didn't like them then and we never will. Ethnic cleansing is what it was, a vicious campaign to starve my people from the hunting grounds and to preserve the tasty deer flesh for the invading nobility. Give us back Sherwood Forest or we'll take it by force.

I can't eat a piece of venison without feeling a seething rage for the persecution of my countrymen all those centuries ago. It's just not on you know. It's about time we got some payback.

What I am suggesting is forming a small band of dedicated freedom fighters who will wage a geurrila campaign to oust these demon invaders from our shores. They may hold the strings to a puppet government but if we are dedicated and willing to die for our cause we shall prevail.

We shall dress in a fetching camouflage of Lincoln green and strike them like wolves in the night. We shall take back our deer forests, our city streets and our oil wells. Their cavalry and superior weaponry will be no match for our faith in God and the righteousness of our cause.

Long live the fighters!


I bought these tasty little venison steaks in Asda (they seem to be going upmarket these days). They weren't cheap. Enough for one person cost £5.00, quite extravagent for a Monday but when the mood grabs you there's no reason not to splurge. Venison can be quite dry - especially if overcooked. If you don't like rare meat, don't buy venison steaks. You also need a fairly rich sauce, something with some fat in it (here butter and cream) - also a sweet sauce is good as sweet things go really well with our deer little friends (excellent pun Jon, could we have another?)

Cake Blog

Treacle Tart. Sweet, oh so sweet.


  • Venison Steaks in Red Wine and Cranberry Sauce
  • Jersey Royal New Potatoes
  • Steamed Vegetables (Asparagus, Mange Tout & Baby Sweetcorn)


    Venison Steaks in Red Wine and Cranberry Sauce
    200g Venison Steak
    25g Butter
    1/2 Glass Red Wine
    1 Tbsp Creme Fraiche
    1 Tbsp Cranberry Jelly
    Few Leaves Flat FLeaf Parsley
    Salt and Pepper


  • Get the steaks out of the fridge and allow them to come to room temperature before cooking.
  • Heat a frying pan until smoking then add the venison steaks. Sear all over, turn the heat down a little and cook for 4 minutes per side. Remove and leave somewhere warm to rest.
  • Add the wine to the pan and reduce to 1/3 volume then add the butter and melt this in. When the butter is melted add a little creme fraiche, some parsley and stir. Mix in the cranberry jelly and when this has dissolved serve poured over the steaks.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for a single person