"What the bloody hell was that?" Aphrodite reached down to pick up the pair of knickers she'd dropped.
"There it is again. Oh and now I've gone and dropped me pegs." Aphrodite gazed skywards to see if the what it was that kept whizzing above her head but there was nothing there. She carried on hanging out the washing. "It's probably one of them bloomin' Titans or summit - always starting trouble they are." She adjusted her dress, picked up her washing basket and waddled inside to have a cup of tea and a ciggy.
Beoooing! Then; "Hello lovely lady."
Aphrodite span around to see a slightly odd looking gentelman with breasts standing in her kitchen, leaning on a cane. He was wearing the oddest sandals with wings on them. His voice was very smooth and Mediterranean. "'Oo the blazes are you?"
"I am Hermes, messenger, god of thieves and lover of women. Your beauty has aroused in me a fiery passion that only your sweet embrace will quench."
"Ooh you are smooth aren't you." Aphrodite took a puff of her Royals Superking and tipped the ash into the sink. "So what you after? A quick shoofty here or a good long sesh upstairs? Price aint negotiable."
"You speak such lovely words." Replied Hermes, "And your voice would charm the Naiads from the seas and the Oreads from the mountains..."
"It's a shoulder of lamb for a quick shoofty here in the kitchen or a leg for the full monty upstairs. Come on I aint got all day - I've a pile of ironing to get done." Aphrodite began to undress.
"...The Dryads from the trees, the Hamadryads from the forests..."
Aphrodite bared her ampled breasts and Hermes was stunned into silence for a second. "...eer, just a quicky then, I've got some mail to deliver."
Myth says that kleftiko is a dish traditionally prepared by thieves (it means thieves' lamb). The lamb was originally cooked by wrapping it in paper and then while it was cooking the thieves would go out on their robbing spree and when they returned dinner would be ready. Kleftiko is also the reason why many British people come back from Greece thinking the food is greasy and horrid. Kleftiko needs loads of olive oil and good olive oil at that. The olive oil is used as a flavouring and it's from this that the misconception of greasy Greek food comes about. Kleftiko is a fine lamb dish and not generally given the credit it's due.
I also had some dolmades in the freezer and managed to find a Greek dish using broad beans to get rid of these before my move to Manchester at the weekend. An excellent dinner, washed down with a class of chilled white Muscadet. Will this gastronomic pleasure never cease?
Kleftiko: Heat a pan until smoking and sear the lamb all over. Place the lamb in some foil with the thinly sliced garlic, oil, lemon juice and oregano. Give a good seasoning, wrap and bake for 45 minutes.
Koukia: Dice the onion and seat in the olive oil. Add the beans, tomato puree, ketchup and pepper. Simmer gently for 30 minutes until the beans begin to go mushy. Add some fresh parsley before serving.