Pip Pip Old Bean

Sunday 10/7/2005

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Diary and Notes

"Anyone for croquet after dinner?" Asked Algenon as he forked another piece of sea bass into his mouth.

"Oh super!" Replied Gingers, "I haven't played croquet since Michaelmass eve." It was always a wizard bang when the friends got together. Jessica's mother always prepared a sumptuous feast and there was always plenty of ginger pop for everyone. How lucky they were that their friends Jessica and Algy lived in such a delightful cottage out in the country and that their mother was such a fantastic hostess.

"But not before we all get some of that delicious pavlova Mrs Forbes-Winstons has prepared." Interrupted Jemima and laughed loudly.

When the repast had finished Mrs Forbes-Winstons set out the croquet for the friends and they drew lots as to who should go first. As usual it was Jessica who won, but only because Algy rigged the lots.

Jessica dropped her ball between the starting pins and manouvered her wheelchair besides it. "Oh it's just so hard to get a good shot with these wheels in the way, I wish my legs weren't fused into a mermaid's flipper due genetic deformities caused by my parents being brother and sister." She exclaimed, "If only we weren't all otherwise abled, what jolly adventures we could all have."

The friends all nodded in agreement (except poor Tarquin who was deaf-blind and had no idea what was going on).

"Yes, just think." Said Algy, "If only I wasn't cursed with these dreaed lobster claw hands we could move into the city and have adventures like all the other children; smoking spliffs, sniffing glue, twoking and running from the filth. Oh how I wish we were normal."

And Jessica could become a crack whore." Joked Gingers, "And we could all take turns of her and pimp her out for money to buy smack."

"Oh how I wish we were normal." They all sighed.

Cake Blog

Sticky Toffee Pavlova: From Asda, where we bought one of the sea bass. (It's not all frozen turkey nibbles and canned spaghetti these days you know).


  • Sea Bass Baked in Salt
  • Mixed Rice
  • Steamed Asparagus and Purple Sprouting
  • Hollandaise Sauce


    Sea Bass Baked in Salt
    2 Sea Bass
    2 Sprigs Rosemary
    2 Sprigs Parsley
    2 Sprigs Thyme
    Loads of Sea Salt
    Mixed Rice
    100g Camargue Red Rice
    200g Wild Rice
    1/2 Onion
    1 Stick Celery
    1/2 Bottle White Wine
    500ml Chicken Stock
    1 Clove Garlic
    1 Tbsp Olive Oil
    Salt and Pepper
    Hollandaise Sauce
    200g Butter
    3 Egg Yolks
    1 Lemon
    Salt and Pepper


  • Bass: Snip off the fins with some scissors. Gut and stuff with the herbs. Pour some salt onto a tray, place the fish on the salt and cover with more salt (I didn't really have enough, you need loads). Bake for 40 minutes.
  • Rice: Chop the onion and celery (very small pieces) and sweat in a little olive oil. Add the minced garlic and rice and stir and fry for about a minute. Pour over the wine and allow to reduce to about 3/4 volume. Add the stock, put the lid on and simmer for 20 minutes. Season before serving.
  • Hollandaise: Put the butter in a jug and in a microwave (this is the easiest way). Place the egg yolks, lemon juice and 1 tbsp of very cold water in a pan and mix. Heat the pan gently whisking continuously. When a good foam forms add the melted butter a drop at a time, keep whisking. When a sauce begins to form pour the butter in a little faster but leave the last of the butter in the jug (as this has the solids you only want the fat). Season with salt and pepper.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for five people