Do You Want Chips With That?

Thursday 14/7/2005

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Diary and Notes

I saw something yesterday that aroused a burning fire within me and has made me come over all 'anti-American'. Now I'm not normally an American basher, I generally have quite good feelings towards our tax dodging colonial chums, but after yestderday that may all be over.

It is not about foreign policy, differences between European culture and American culture or whether we think they burn too much oil. There's no politics, no emnity about why they can't play football, rugby and cricket like every other decent nation, nor any anger over them being incapable of spelling words that end in 'our' correctly (colour, fervour, candour etc.). Nope, but it is about a word, one single word, and at the moment, after seeing what I saw yestderday, and under the concept of collective responsibility, I want all Americans to be roasted on spits.

It's simply the word Fries.

I saw an advert for MacDonalds on TV that made me so angry I nearly went out and firebombed the MacDonalds around the corner from where I live. Just say the word Fries and I am filled with hate.

When MacDonalds first moved into Britain they must have had a debate about whether they were going to use the word chips or the word fries for their reconstituted fried potato left overs. What an arrogant bunch of gits they must all be to have decided on fries. We have been eating chips in this country for well over a hundred years and a foreign company moving in and trying to redesign our language, the very stuff that underlies our culture, for their own ends cannot be forgiven.

And now this irritating new MacDonalds advert with everybody stealing each others' chips and saying "Get your own fries." No, it should be "Get your own chips." This is some pernicious cultural imperialism by an American multinational trying to teach us some Orwellian newspeak and I'm going to scream against it. No, never, I wont call them fries, they're chips. If I go to America (where they speak American) I'll use the word fries just like I'm happy to call them pommes frites in France, but in Britain they are chips and MacDonalds can sod off.

We have guns you know, and trident missiles too and we're not afraid to use them.


And seeing as I'm all anti American today I thought I'd make something Iranian for dinner. That'll teach 'em.

Cake Blog

Turkish Deligh: From Venus Foods, a big Turkish supermarket on my bus route home. made on the premises and delicious too.


  • Chicken, Aubergine and Fava Bean, Koresht
  • Couscous
  • Khubz (flatbread)
  • Salad
  • Yoghurt with lemon Juice and Pepper


    Chicken, Aubergine and Fava Bean, Koresht
    2 Large Chicken Breasts
    1 Onion
    1 Clove Garlic
    1 Tbsp Olive Oil
    1 Aubergine
    1/2 Red Pepper
    1 Can Fava Beans
    1 Can Plum Tomatoes
    Fresh Coriander
    Fresh Parsley
    1 Lemon
    2 Cloves
    2cm Cinnamon
    1/2 tsp Chilli Powder
    1/4 tsp Cumin
    Salt and Pepper


  • Slice the onion and chop the garlic. Sweat in the oil until soft. Add the chunks of chicken and brown. Grind the spices and add to the pan, then the chopped aubergine. Stew for a few minutes then add the red pepper and tomatoes. Mash the fava beans to a pulp and stir in. Add enough water to make a sauce and simmer gently for 40 minutes. Mix in the parsley and coriander, some lemon juice, season and serve.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for three people