What, No Cock?

Wednsday 20/7/2005

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Diary and Notes

I don't know why, but somebody has been playing with one of my favourite things and shame upon them. I talk of that most fabled and delicious of condiments, the legendary Cock Sauce - quite one of the best things to have on chips anywhere. Not too spicy, a little hint of garlic, slightly sweet, and possibly the perfect accompaniment to greasy sticks of fried spud - fantastic.

But what's this? They've been tweaking it somewhat and I am not a happy chicken (or cock that should be).

It still tastes the same, it's just that it's not cock sauce anymore, now it's naff flying bird sauce - they've gotten rid of the cock - it's a matrasmesy, a matrasmesy I tells ya.

For some reason, possibly to do with people like me using this nickname as a source of some slightly corny jokes, they've removed all trace of the once proud cock and replaced it with a new age flying bird that looks like it's been designed by somebody who knows a little too much about graphic design to be working on sauce bottles. I liked the cock, everybody liked the cock. It just isn't the same anymore. Where's my cock? I want my cock!

And to anybody who doesn't know, James Doohan (aka Scotty) died yesterday. The newspapers have been full of headlines like 'Scotty Beams Up One Last Time.' etc. and I think he would have been glad. Apparently he is going to have his ashes blasted into space - let's just hope they don't get absorbed by some being of pure energy which recombobulates him incorrectly into some giant super Scotty, who then comes back and zaps us all with his anti-matter raygun eyes and crushes us with his transparent aluminum fists and dilithium fingernails.

Maybe we should start making prearations to defend ourselves. You read it here first.


I was in a real hurry today so just cooked some little turkish sausages I'd bought at Venus Foods our local Turkish supermarket. I fried a little onion, added some tomatoes, chilli and oregano and stewed the sausages in the sauce. Simple and not worth writing a proper recipe.

Cake Blog

Chocolate Refigerator Slices (whatever that means) from M&S: Chocolate, biscuit and fruit. I only managed three.


  • Mini Turkish Chicken Sausages in Tomato Sauce
  • Chips
  • Salad (Red Pepper, Cucumber, Olives, Feta Cheese, Pickled Peppers, Lemon Juice)
  • Pitta Bread
  • Cock Sauce