Who Is This Wellington Chappy Anyway?

Tuesday 26/7/2005

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Diary and Notes

The tent of John Duke of Marlborough, general to his Majesty's armies. Somewhere in Europe, August 13, 1705:

"Aah Caruthers... Take a letter will you... My dear scheming evil Frenchies and in particular that traitorous and hapless toad James Fitzjames, 1st Duke of some God foresaken Scottish dorf which no self respecting Englishman would ever visit, even in the summer when the horrid midgies are away on holiday in Paris disguised as giant bedbugs and biting the arse of the French King. ...I am very sorry to hear that your soldiers have run out of rations and are starving. I myself will be dining on a delicious meal of filet de boeuf en papillote aux duxelle de champignons suavage et paté de fois gras. Up yours..."

"Sorry your generalship." Interjected Caruthers "But we aint got no fillet de beef, nor no pait de fwas graw neither. It's pork for scran today," and then he ducked skillfully to avoid the boot which his boss hurled across the room in a fit of pique.

"NO BEEF!" The Duke span around, his face fuming red, "I march an army all the way across some greasy olive oil eating continent only to be told that me, an Englishman, cannot have beef for dinner. Who am I going to have to shoot Caruthers, are you responsible for this?"

"I'm sorry sir, but it's a very nice cut of pork, and there's some sausages too."

"But Caruthers. I was planning on inventing a dish to celebrate the anniversary of my great victory at Blenheim, I was going to order that the beef be wrapped in paté and mushrooms and baked in pastry. Beef Blenheim I was going to call it and every Englishman would eat it on this day for a thousand years."

"Sounds very nice sir, but why don't you have the pork instead... I can roast some spuds too if you want."

"And can I have jelly and ice cream for pud? With hundreds and thousands. Oh please Caruthers, tell me there's jelly..."

"As you wish sir, as you wish."


My chum Shovn came for dinner today and I thought I'd make him something traditionally British - or at least British style. He seemed quite impressed and was especially fond of the roast potatoes. There are quite a few websites with recipes for something called 'pork Wellington' but as the dish should be beef Wellington and as far as I am concerned only beef Wellington, I am refusing to call it pork Wellington and have named this pork Marlborough - after Britain's finest military genius in the history of our country - John Duke of Marlborough (1650-1722) or more correctly - The Most Noble Captain-General John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough, Earl of Marlborough, Baron Churchill of Sandridge, Lord Churchill of Eyemouth, KG, PC - who held the scheming Frenchies at bay and brought balance to the power structure in Europe. For some reason he's not as famous as Wellington (after whom the beef Wellington was named), so I've dedicated this tasty pork dish to him - especially as Marlborough is in Wiltshire which is famous for it's pigs. I hope the ghost of the old general is pleased with having a meat and pastry dish named after him - he can always haunt me if he isn't. I'll keep an eye open for ghostly apparitions and keep you posted.

Cake Blog

Mr Kipling Millionaire's Shortcakes: I'm not sure why they call them Millionaire's shortcakes, if I were a millionaire I'd be eating the finest Vienna pastries and Parisian patisserie, not shortcake squares with toffee and something resembling chocolate on top.


  • Pork Marlborough
  • Roast Potatoes
  • Steamed Carrots
  • Button Mushrooms
  • Sage and Cream Sauce


    Pork Marlborough
    1 Pork Tenderloin (500g)
    250g Puff Pastry
    1 Pork Sausage
    1 Tbsp Olive Oil
    Black Pepper
    Sage and Cream Sauce
    Juice from Pork above
    1/2 tsp Dried Sage
    1 Glass White Wine
    Knob Butter
    1 tbsp Double cream
    Salt and Pepper


  • Pork: Heat a pan with a little olive oil and sear the pork all over. Put the lid on and allow to cook for 15 minutes. Turn the heat off and allow to cool a little and for the juices to all leak out. Roll out the pastry. Mash up the sausage and coat the tenderloin in sausage meat. Grind loads of pepper all over, wrap in the pastry (sealing the edges with a little water) and bake in a hot oven for 20 minutes (until nicely brown).
  • Sauce: Reduce the juice from the pork along with the sage, a glass of wine and a knob of butter - add the mushrooms to cook them in the juice and flavour the sauce as well. When the mushrooms are cooked remove, add a dash of cream and season.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for two people