Monday 8/8/2005

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Diary and Notes

If you are wondering what that abomination is in the photo, a full description is available below, just under the line of stars.

I recieved this email from my old chum Dr. Phileus Algenon Welshegg (of the Swansea Welsheggs) with regards our amazing victory over our traditional enemy - the Aussies, on Sunday (which I was watching of course - gripping stuff)

In keeping with the spirit of the times I think you should cook a dish to celebrate the test victory of the Poms over the Convicts in quite possibly the most exciting test match ever (certainly the most exciting since the famous Botham series of the early eighties (which I also watched). Oh yes indeed. It would also serve to welcome the battling cricket giants to Manchester ahead of the titanic third test at Old Trafford. Bowl on!

I was planning to have braised lamb's hearts today. This I was dreading as they have tubes visible all over them and although I've never tried lamb's hearts they have put the fear in me. So the email above was a godsend - a great idea to sneer at those over inflated Aussie shysters and an excuse to delay the braised lamb's hearts for another day. Yipee!

And what a great and historic victory it was too. No person in the entire country who calls himself British could not have held back from a little tear of pride as the evil antipodeans were sent packing with their dingos' tails between their legs and their spirits crushed like so many 1850's gold miners' ribs.

We may only have levelled the series and there may be three more to play, but there was dancing and singing all over the cricketing world on Sunday - I bet even the New Zealand umpire had a little chuckle to himself when no-one was looking. I often take the mickey out of other groups and countries but it's always in jest - but where the Aussie cricketers are concerned (and rugby players too) the feelings are true and personal.

Pray we really stuff them at Old Trafford - and let every English cricketer in the team know that when you go out to play on the 11 August, everybody in the entire world who is not a Australian, will be on your side.


Shane Warne's Hit Wicket Salad

Serves two (unless you are Shane upon which you'll probably want a big bowl of chips and some fried eggs, a hamburger or two...)

The ingredients of the dish are supposed to symbolise the things present when Shane accidentally slipped and kicked the bales off his wicket (oh how we laughed). The layout is cricket pitch shaped with only the major players involved (I could have put some cubes of cheese down or pickled onions for the fielders but thought I'd already done enough) - here's how the salad goes:

  • Two chunky and blood rare pieces of British fillet steak represent Flintoff (bowler) and Geraint Jones (wicket keeper).
  • Two chicken drumsticks flavoured with jerk seasoning represent Shane Warne and Brett Lee.
  • Two peices of kiwi fruit are the umpires (as one was from New Zealand, I forget the nationality of the other).
  • The field is made of shredded lettuce and spinach with a rope of red and yellow pepper.
  • The wicket is finest English watercress
  • The creases are slices of toast.
  • The stumps and bales are carved out of potato and fried until crispy (notice that poor Shane has 'slipped' and knocked his potato over and the stumps have fallen off.)
  • The ball is a cherry tomato
  • And the whole thing is drizzled in a dressing flavoured with wine vinegar to represent the sour tears of Australian defeat and fine English mustard to represent our strong brave cricketing warriors.

    All in all an excellent salad - unless you are Australian of course.

    Cake Blog

    A Chocolate Torte from Tescos: Truly delicious except it said there was enough for six generous portions and I managed to eat over 1/2 of it in one breath. Plus is was impossible to get out of the plastic tray without slopping it everywhere. Tasty though.


  • Shane Warne's Hit Wicket Salad


    And here's a blow up of that 'slip' for those who are interested: