Being an old git I just drank the free booze and nodded politely.
I did manage to drag Laurie away from his bairn for a little while and lure him into the pub for a beer - as is my godly appointed task, and we managed a few snifters while the women did womanly things in the house and balance was restored to the force.
By the time I got back home it was getting a little late to be cooking dinner, and if it weren't for my challenge I'd have got a kebab or a take away curry. Unfortunately that was not to be and cooking was what I had to do - not just any ordinary cooking but the secret art of Drunken Chef Style Kung Food - be in awe of the skills of the master.
I got home and opened a bottle of cheap red plonk and set to work (by this time I'd already had a little champagne and three or four pints of real ale). In the fridge was the last of the three giant kraken that I had removed from the freezer in the morning and was now ready for battle.
Cue cheesy 1970's Honk Kong Bruce Lee Style Music.
"Haya!" I shout as I chop and onion with my mighty cleaver.
"Chop!" Goes the weapon as I have at a tomato.
"Whooooo-ah ay!" As I crush a clove of garlic.
Not bad eh? I doubt there are many who could rustle up a very tasty calamares rellenos at ten o' clock, after an afternoon in the boozer.
Maybe I should start a school in this almost forgotten art.
Lemon and Chocolate Cake: From the Barbakan Deli in Chorlton - Laurie was beaming with dadly pride and made me take today's cake photo with his new born in the background. I think Riley is a bit young for cake but when he's a bit older at least he'll know where to buy good ones.
1 Very Big Squid (500g)
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 Clove Garlic
½ tsp Crushed Chillis
1 Tbsp Sultanas
1 tsp Smoked Paprika
1 Glass Red Wine
1 Rasher Bacon
100ml Chicken Stock
*All quantities are very approximate and for a single person