Drunken Chef Style Kung Food vs the Icy Kraken

Saturday 10/9/2005

Email JCBorresen@GMail.com

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Diary and Notes

I went to visit my chums Laurie and Rachel today, or should that be Laurie, Rachel and Riley, for now they are three. It was one of those days when all the friends turn up with choccies etc and all stand around beaming agog and getting all googoo and gooey and saying things like "aah." etc.

Being an old git I just drank the free booze and nodded politely.

I did manage to drag Laurie away from his bairn for a little while and lure him into the pub for a beer - as is my godly appointed task, and we managed a few snifters while the women did womanly things in the house and balance was restored to the force.

By the time I got back home it was getting a little late to be cooking dinner, and if it weren't for my challenge I'd have got a kebab or a take away curry. Unfortunately that was not to be and cooking was what I had to do - not just any ordinary cooking but the secret art of Drunken Chef Style Kung Food - be in awe of the skills of the master.

I got home and opened a bottle of cheap red plonk and set to work (by this time I'd already had a little champagne and three or four pints of real ale). In the fridge was the last of the three giant kraken that I had removed from the freezer in the morning and was now ready for battle.

Cue cheesy 1970's Honk Kong Bruce Lee Style Music.

"Haya!" I shout as I chop and onion with my mighty cleaver.

"Chop!" Goes the weapon as I have at a tomato.

"Whooooo-ah ay!" As I crush a clove of garlic.

Not bad eh? I doubt there are many who could rustle up a very tasty calamares rellenos at ten o' clock, after an afternoon in the boozer.

Maybe I should start a school in this almost forgotten art.

Cake Blog

Lemon and Chocolate Cake: From the Barbakan Deli in Chorlton - Laurie was beaming with dadly pride and made me take today's cake photo with his new born in the background. I think Riley is a bit young for cake but when he's a bit older at least he'll know where to buy good ones.


  • Stuffed Squid (Calamares Rellenos)
  • Bread


    Stuffed Squid
    1 Very Big Squid (500g)
    1 Onion
    100g Rice
    1 Tbsp Olive Oil
    1 Clove Garlic
    ½ tsp Crushed Chillis
    1 Tbsp Sultanas
    1 tsp Smoked Paprika
    1 Glass Red Wine
    1 Rasher Bacon
    50g Chorizo
    1 Tomato
    100ml Chicken Stock


  • Dice the onion and bacon. Mince the garlic. Sweat in a little olive oil until soft. Stir in the paprika and chilli then add the wine. Bubble for a minute or so then stir in the rice and chopped chorizo. Pour over the stock, add the sultanas and simmer until the rice is cooked, adding more water as it begins to plump up. Meanwhile clean the squid and turn the oven on to 250c. Remove the wings of the squid and cut into slices. Keep the tentacles on one side for garnish. When the rice is cooked, stir in the chopped squid wings and a chopped tomato. Stuff as much rice mix as possible into the squid body. Secure the end with a cocktail stick and rub a little olive oil over the body. Bake in the oven for three minutes, turn over and bake for another 2 minutes. Remove and slice. Fry the tentacles for a few seconds and serve with any left over rice mix.


    *All quantities are very approximate and for a single person