"You mean Calcutta surely, I was with the Kings Bengali Lancers, not the Burma Police, don't confuse me with that ghastly Orwell chappy we met whilst trawling for prostitues in Wigan." Bernard lit a cigarette and sipped his the last of his julep.
"Yes, ghastly... anyway, so what brings you back my old chap?"
"Well daddy, it's like this..." Bernard waited for Caruthers to pour the drinks and leave the room before going on, "I seem to have had a bit of a slip in the old trouser department."
"What is it my lad? Bombay Bollocks? A dose of the Calcutta Crusties? Surely not elephant syphillis, I remember getting a dose of that and it took months of carbolic and scrubbing...very nasty."
"No pater, not that sort of a slip...I seem to have gotten one of the locals - a bright young thing from Bangalore, um, as the Hun might say, err, schwanger, if you get my drift."
"WHAT!" Bellowed the major, "Are you trying to tell me that one of these Indian girlies is up the Ganges? It's a disgrace. There will be none of that in our family. How much does she want? A hundred ruppees should do it."
"Her father is Maharajah of Gungastan - he's a very rich and powerful man."
"Hhm, better make it two hundred, and we'll throw in a goat as well. Now, time for dinner me lad. Calcutta pancakes today, you can't beat Anglo-Indian food you know."
Bernard laughed and his father patted him on the back. "As long as it's only the food that's Anglo-Indian eh?"
Strawberry Meringue: From Sainsbury's - a bit powdery but not a bad effort.
Stuffed Pancake Curry
1 Tbsp Plain Flour
50 ml Milk
75g Minced Lamb
½ Red Chilli
1 Clove Garlic
1 tsp Mustard Oil
2 tsp Garam Masala
¼ tsp Salt
¼ tsp Black Pepper
½ White Onion
½ Red Onion
1 Tbsp Mustard Oil
2 Baby Aubergines
1 Clove Garlic
½ cm Ginger
1 tsp Chilli Powder
1 tsp Dried Coriander
½ tsp Cumin
1 Bay Leaf
¼ tsp Cinnamon
1 Tbsp Tomato Puree
First make the sauce: Finely dice the white onion and garlic. Fry in a little mustard oil until the onion softens. Add the aubergine and the rougly chopped red onion and cook until soft. Add the spices, fry a little longer, then add the courgette, tomato puree and a little water. Cook gently until everything goes a little mushy. Then make the pancake: Mix the finely diced onion, garlic, chilli, and spices into the minced lamb and fry everything until slightly browned. Leave to cool. While the lamb is cooking make a batter from the flour, eggs and milk. Leave to stand for a few minutes before making the pancake (fry in a little mustard oil). Spread the cooked lamb on the pancake, roll up and place in a pan and pour over the sauce, add the tomato and cook slowly for a further 15 mins.
*All quantities are very approximate and for a single person